"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
