i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
