It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
