Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
