Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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