If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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