My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize