In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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