Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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