Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
