is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
