I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
