She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
