He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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