her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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