He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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