Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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