did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
