So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
