Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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