I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
