I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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