i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
