I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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