hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
