: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
