Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
