i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
