Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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