Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
