Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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