Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I look better un-naked...
She announced her abortion via fbk
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
