like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
