If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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