i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
