No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
