I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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