i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
