my sisters under your porch take her home
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My balls are so social today.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
