why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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