i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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