That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
