last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
