Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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