come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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