she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
