Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
