Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
