id be glad to
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
