Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
