you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
