you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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