he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
