Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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